Week 24

     I have been incredibly awful at writing down my thoughts and feelings through the pregnancy. Every one I talk with always says, make sure you take notes and write in a journal every little detail about what you think and feel and say and do. Well, I didn't really want my journal to be filled with the same boring things every day, so I guess its kind of ok that I have been a slacker at blogging. Little baby Burnett is doing great, as far as I know.
     We went back and had a second ultrasound just to double check the gender. For sure its a boy! We are completely stoked now, but we have absolutely no idea what we want to name him. We have a few names we like, but we don't really LOVE any names yet. Good thing we still have three + months to figure it all out.
      This past week Paul has been in Salt Lake working. It is our first week apart and I am hanging in there. I had my first little emotional attack the other day. Thankfully/sadly I had a horrible nightmare that woke me up at 3:30, so I could call Paul and apologize to him for being so emotional and mean to him. I am so grateful that he puts up with me and loves me so much. Poor Paul hasn't been able to feel baby kick yet. I think if he put his hand on my belly now, sadly he didn't get to feel baby before he moved up North.
       I suppose I should write a few of the things I have been thinking and feeling. Well first of all, everyone asks me, "Oh do you like being pregnant?" "Isn't it just so much fun?" UM NO! I am so selfish I suppose, but being pregnant really isn't all that people crack it up to be. Yes, its exciting, yes I can't wait to be a mother, but all these changes are just trying to kill me! People tell me I look like I am glowing, and all I can think of when they say that is, "Well duh, I am having a hot flash of course I look rosy posy." The whole belly thing is getting a little frustrating too! I have a hard time doing pushups these days, I can barely clip my toenails, when I lean up against the kitchen sink I get kicked, and I can't get close enough to the truck anymore to scrape the windshield! Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to be a mom, but holy cow, no one told me it would be like this!
     I must say feeling the baby move is both exciting and weird. I feel like I have no control of my body some days. I will be teaching a lesson perfectly fine, then two minutes later I have to pee or I might die. Little boy likes to kick my bladder. Mostly when its full though. I think its his way of saying, "pee mom, you're cramping my style." Its also kind of weird teaching a reading group and your belly starts moving. Sometimes I feel like I have massive gas bubbles inside me, but I know its just the baby. Its just weird! Its a good thing I don't get motion sickness or I would be in trouble. This guy flips so much sometimes I feel like I am on a loop the loop roller coaster.
     And, last thing to vent about is the comments people say to me. Yes, most of them are kind and genuine, but I just don't know what to say anymore. I am told multiple times a day how cute I look, and my clothes are just so cute, but what do you say to that? I can only say thanks so many times... I am grateful that people are so kind and compliment me, but I don't want to sound snooty or say the same things over and over again...
    Well, pregnancy has some perks. You instantly have lots of friends. And people you didn't normally get along with, that just happen to be pregnant with you, become your support buddies. Those are some nice positives about being pregnant. :) I truly do enjoy feeling baby boy move though too. When I practice piano or sing along with music he moves around a lot. It seems weird, but its really kind of touching to be able to bond and connect with him in simple little ways. My phone app says we are supposed to talk to baby and read to him, which is a little strange, but I guess I sing and talk to my garden, so talking to a baby shouldn't be too much different.
     I have tried to take pictures as the months go by. I don't want to take one every week, or I would have a billion, so every 4ish weeks I get a picture. Here are the pictures that I have thus far in the pregnancy.

Week 20

Right before christmas. I finally had energy to do the things I wanted to do! What I craved the most during these few weeks was fresh cherries!! Oh man, but you can't buy them in December! I almost died! Hardest part of the month was needing to go pee ALL the time.

Week 24

Hardest part of this month was having my belly get in the way of me doing things. Also, Paul left me for SLC during this month as well and that was kind of hard for me. The best part of the month is feeling all the cute little wiggles happening inside. I craved Cafe Rio a lot (never got it though) and I had a phase where I craved french fries! Lucky for me, Paul spoiled me and bought me french fries three days in a row. Now that I think about fries I just want to throw up, but hey, I craved them once upon a time. We also heard baby's heart beat again, and it sounds like a normal person now! Kinda fun!

And the Gender is...

    Well, I have been really bad at posting frequently, tried to do better, but life is busy. So I will post what I can get. I still haven't thought a whole lot about baby, because I don't really have time. Between work, young womens, and life I am pretty swamped. It is nice though because I don't sit around thinking about being pregnant all the time.
      Paul and I decided that we wanted to know what the gender was earlier than we had originally planned. We were going to wait until Christmas, but thought it better to find out today. The great thing about us going with a midwife (mine is amazing by the way), is that we really get to choose when we have an ultrasound. Plus I don't have to get oodles of tests done that I don't feel like I need. Anyway, our midwife referred us to a great ultrasound studio.
     The package we paid for was supposed to be only 30 minutes of ultrasound footage with only a few pictures, but walked out of there with 124 pictures on a dvd and an hour long session of watching our cute little baby! No joke! I don't even know what to do with that many pictures.
      Well, from the beginning of time, Paul and I had it set in our minds that we would be having a baby girl first. We were dead set on it and pretty sure that was what we were having. Guess God had other plans for us because we get to have a cute little boy first!
     To be honest, I thought I was going to be really sad, like devastatingly sad. I wasn't that sad, but I wasn't bursting with excitement. I know that sounds bad, but I truly thought we were having a girl. On the long drive home, with a milkshake in hand, I got time to ponder and think about the new addition to our family. I am not to the point where I am dancing with excitement yet, but I know and feel in my heart that this family was set apart and chosen long before I had a say in it, and for that reason there is a purpose that we are blessed to have a little Mr. joining us.
     I am sure the more I think about it and plan on it the more excited I will get. And I sure hope so. I am truly grateful that we have a healthy baby, that is for sure. It took us seriously like 40 minutes just to get him to sit still enough for us to get a picture of the gender. Of the 124 pictures we have, bet ya only 2 of them are of him showing off for us! He will certainly be a frisbee player though. Even in de womb he knows how to lay out :)
     The pregnancy does seem more real to me know. I thought it might start to click after the ultrasound. It has to some degree. It really was breath taking seeing our cute little guy up on the screen. I can't believe I am almost half way there. 17 weeks tomorrow! The past 5 weeks have flown by! I sure hope the next 23 do the same!

Week 16 in both pictures, but I totally feel like two days later I totally popped. Except now that I am  17 weeks I feel like I am smaller. Hmm... Weird. But hey, I still fit my skinny jeans so life is peachy!

Liz our technician put in the weeks wrong. I am really 17 weeks, but other than that our pictures turned out great!

There he is giggling at us because he is such a stinker and thinks he is so funny! (prolly just yawning) but still, he was such a stinker the whole time!

The 3D pictures were a little bit harder to make out, but if you look at the picture right you can see his cute little face in the top left corner of the picture. 

Trimester #2

     I have been really bad about writing down my thoughts lately. I am nearly 14 weeks and only have three posts about the pregnancy. I thought that since I have a little bit of time, I might write a post about what has been running through my mind, and how I have been feeling.
     From week 7, I pretty much got morning sickness. Thankfully it wasn't bad, but it was definitely irritable. If I got too hot, or too hungry, or smelled anything that I didn't like, it would trigger the nausea. Thankfully being at school helped keep my mind off things, but at the same time, being at school the heater in my classroom is unpredictable, and you know how stinky kids fresh from P.E. smell. I tried to be positive and optimistic always, but feeling sick all the time certainly did not put me in the greatest of moods.
     I do feel that things have started to calm down a little. I do get nauseated if I stay up too late, or don't get enough sleep, and sometimes when I am hungry, but it is not as strong as it was before. I have also started to think that maybe I might feel skittles moving around. I can't tell for sure, but it sure makes me excited to think about.
     Paul and I were talking the other day about everything, and he asked me what I was constantly thinking about and feeling, being pregnant. Maybe I am not putting enough into it, because my response was, "nothing." Not really. I still feel like the whole thing is surreal. Hearing the heartbeat was amazing, but I still don't feel like being a mom has set in. And maybe it won't until I actually give birth. I want to be thoughtful and contemplative, but I guess it needs to sink in first.
      All I know, is that I am exceedingly grateful to my Heavenly Parents for the opportunity they have given me to be a mother, and Paul a father. And while I don't fully understand right now, I know that in time, I will understand.

Skittles Heart Beat

     Today was the first prenatal appointment Paul and I had with our midwife. I will be honest and say that I wasn't entirely sure what to expect. I figured if we were going to the hospital they might try and get a heart beat and check other things, but I didn't really quite know how everything would work out with a midwife. 

     Lily came over with her assistant, who is one of my friends from planning stake girls camp, Sara Cram. They checked vitals, and pricked my finger to get some blood, and to my surprise they actually tried to get a heartbeat. I honestly didn't know that Lily would have access to the nifty contraption she has to check for heart beats. It was so crazy. Sara had to search around for a little bit to find it, but when she found it, Skittles heartbeat was strong. It was shocking to me, to actually have physical proof that there was something growing inside me! Paul knows I am emotional and even doubly so since being pregnant, so he just kept on watching, waiting for me to start crying. I didn't, but I thought it was funny that he would think I would though.

     It has been a challenge for me to stay happy and keep my dinner in my stomach. If any of you know me, I can handle almost ANY type of sickness and be a trooper about it, but when it comes to nausea and throwing up, I just don't handle it very well. So, with that being said, morning sickness has definitely been a trial of my faith. I am grateful though because it keeps me humble and helps me to remember the Savior and the important things in life. 

     We are officially at week 9 and super excited that everything keeps progressing smoothly. As far as my thoughts go, I am starting to get a little more excited. It is less surreal now that I have heard a heartbeat, but I still don't think it has fully sunk in yet. I am thinking that when I start to show, or when I actually have an ultra sound and see our lil' Skittles, then it will be quite real. My cravings thus far have been normal. Usually I don't crave something, but if I see an add, or start thinking about food, I think of something, (usually quite unhealthy), and fixate on it a little bit. Milkshakes, Arby's roast beef and cheddar, greek yogurt, and caramel ice cream are the huge cravings I have had lately. 

     My sense of smell has gotten quite a bit stronger as well. A lot of smells I used to like are horrible. Things I could handle are horrible, and good smells, are extra good and make me hungry if they are food related. The smelly kids after recess have been a hard smell to get used to. It never bothered me before, but with the super sniffer, I can smell EVERYTHING! The cleaning stuff a few of the teachers use makes me gag, The cafeteria always smells SO good. It makes me hungry every day. My house when I first walk in the door can sometimes set me off. Yeah, even the little things. 

     All in all, we are super excited. Each week that passes gives me hope that after the first trimester my nausea will get better. Nothing is for sure, but I can sure hope! 
     Paul was able to record our little skittles heartbeat. I thought it would be fun to post it in my blog that way we will always have it. 

Camping With My Faves

     Update, Paul received a job in Salt Lake for  a company called Tanner LLC. He starts in January, yet, I have to teach school until June. Sadly we will live apart through the third trimester of my pregnancy. Anyway, I told him that before things got crazy and too cold outside, he HAD to take me camping again. I asked my best friend Lisa if she wanted to come camping and of course she was in!
     We didn't leave until way late in the evening. We were keeping our fingers crossed that even though we weren't getting there until 8 at night, our first come first serve campsite would still have a vacancy. We lucked out and were able to get a great spot at the Red Cliffs campsite. Lisa and I set up camp while Paul got the fire ready for us to cook our dinner, (yeah, we still hadn't had dinner by 8). When we finally ate, oh my, it was the best dinner I have had in a while. Maybe because I was STARVING, or maybe it was really just that good!
     We sat around the camp fire and talked quite a while. I gave into my nausea and tiredness and started to doze in and out of sleep. Paul and Lisa told me they had a very great discussion about the gospel. You can bet I was a little disappointed when I knew what I missed out on. But at the same time, it was sleep or nausea.
     My biggest worry about camping was that I would have to pee multiple times in the middle of the night, (blame it on the pregnancy). I lucked out. But you certainly know what the first thing I did in the morning was! Once we had breakfast and got all packed up we headed out to go on a hike.
     Our hike was little but fun. We pretty much just bush wacked our way to the top of a fun little overlook, (good thing it wasn't a very long hike or I might have died! I was out of breath so quickly). After hiking we went to St. George, went to the store quick and then had a delicious meal at brick oven. I love spending time with Paul and Lisa. They are basically the my bestest friends ever!

Climbing to the top of a"really tall mountain"

The view from the top. Pretty cool!

The three amigos! Well until Lisa gets married. Then it will be four!!

And Here Comes Morning Sickness

     This week I actually felt morning sickness. Well thats what I think it was. I had a few days where I was very nauseas all day long. If I had a snack or got something in my stomach it would go away a little bit, but there were a few times sitting at work where I thought I was going to have to teach my groups with the garbage can right by my side. Thankfully I never lost my breakfast or lunch, but boy was I not feeling so great. Throughout the course of the week it has simmered down quite a bit. I have felt queasy here and there, mostly if I am hungry or smell something really strong.
    Part of me is very grateful for the morning sickness feeling, because I didn't feel that with the first pregnancy. That means that our little skittle is still growing strong inside. The other part of me is just hating life. The first day was so bad I really didn't know if I could last another 6 weeks of it. My heart goes out to all the moms that have had horrible sickness because I know I wouldn't last if I was vomiting all day long.
     In two days I will have made it farther than my previous pregnancy and I can't wait. It feels like if I can just get past 7 weeks I will be good to go. I feel really good about things this time though. I think the Lord was watching out for Paul and myself by making us wait a few extra months. I am eager and excited to see what will happen as the pregnancy progresses.
     It still doesn't feel all to real that we are pregnant, but I think as time goes on it will sink in a little bit more. We haven't told anyone yet. We want to wait until 12 weeks. I am more than halfway to that point now so that is good. I don't know if I can keep telling people no for much longer. It seems like so far to wait, yet, it has gone by just as fast. I hope that I can pay close enough attention through this pregnancy that I don't miss out on all the important things!

The Start of Something New

     Three months ago Paul and I found out we were pregnant and we were so excited. The timing wasn't ideal for us, but we were excited to be parents soon. Shortly thereafter we had a miscarriage. It wasn't devastatingly sad, but it was harder on me than I thought it would be. We were leaving to Scotland just a few weeks after it happened, which I thought would be nice. I would be away from life and have time to heal.
      We found out that we were pregnant again a few days ago. My heart is so happy right now its hard to express in words. Yet I find myself a little fearful of going through the same experience I had previously. I know that the Lord has his hands in all things and that what is meant to be will happen. So I just keep on with life, patiently waiting to make it past 12 weeks so my chances go down. While I am only at five weeks right now I still have a ways to go.
     I do want to write some of my feelings about pregnancy though. This one has surprisingly been quite different than the last one, but perhaps thats because with the last one I didn't make it very far. I have truly been blessed to not have morning sickness. I get nauseas when I am hungry, but if I eat I am fine. The only problem is that if I eat too much, my stomach feels like there is a balloon inside. So I have to eat small meals frequently to keep the balance. Its good though because it keeps me from over eating. My body is tired, but not half as tired as it was three months ago. I still have the energy to wake up at 5:30 AM to work out with Bambi. I still have energy to do crossfit workouts, and I still have energy for frisbee. I don't know how long it will last, but for now its great.
     I have not had any cravings yet. Part of me wants to attribute it to the fact that the minute I found out I was pregnant I went off processed sugars cold turkey. Before I was eating whatever I wanted, and I craved ice cream and candy all the time. Now I don't crave anything. I want fresh vegetables sometimes, but I have plenty of them to keep me satisfied for a while.
     Paul and I have decided to call our little nugget skittles. We are so excited to know there is a baby growing inside me, but I think we are a little terrified at the reality of everything. My hormones have been up and down the past few weeks. Not crazy up and down, but certainly not normal. I am grateful that my husband is so patient and kind with me. He puts up with a lot and knows just what to do when I am an emotional train wreck. I am so blessed. I can't wait for the rest of this adventure.
    Everything is so surreal right now. Hopefully in a few more weeks, everything will set in and I will actually feel like I am pregnant, and going to be a mom in a few months.